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Friday 29 August 2008

Babysitting

With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge
of our three energetic youngsters.

When we returned a few hours later, she was sitting alone
watching TV.

I went to check on the children and found them in our narrow
hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls,
two of them had climbed up to the ceiling.

"The babysitter taught us how," they said gleefully.

The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had
me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too,"
she stammered.

We kept the same girl for the next two years.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


My brother used to climb the walls like this when he was younger!

Monday 25 August 2008

Belly Rub

cat
more animals

Right Place, Right Time


Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR - Only in America

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY!!
Charlotte, North Carolina. USA. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued… and WON!
(Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire' and was obligated to pay the claim! Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.
NOW, FOR THE BEST PART
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest! ONLY IN AMERICA!

Tuesday 12 August 2008

Mis-Step


I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had
him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight
of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and
had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally,
for my child.

My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I
heard a gleeful giggle followed by, "Again!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Monday 11 August 2008

All Boxed Up!



Do you remember as a child when your parent's would get new appliances and you got to play in the box?
We didn't really care about the new fridge, freezer, oven, or whatever it was. We were just interested in the box it came in.
Cubby houses, rockets, forts, tunnels - whatever we imagined, that's what the box became! They were fun days.

My sister's cat is a bit like Fred in this comic. Whenever a parcel comes in the mail, she has to sniff it and then hop in the box once it is opened. Her favorite boxes are cereal boxes. She bats table tennis balls into them, charges them and tries to fit her body in (she used to fit as a kitten), and skids them around the floor.

Whatever would we do without boxes?

FATHER'S EYES

Bob Richards, the former pole-vault champion, shares a moving story about a
skinny young boy who loved football with all his heart. Practice after
practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the
other boys, he got absolutely nowhere. At all the games, this hopeful
athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played.

This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very
special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his
father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.

This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high
school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very
clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the
young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to
try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became
a senior. All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game but
remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in
the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.

When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football
team as a "walk-on". Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he
did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always
puts his heart and soul in every practice, and at the same time, provided
the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news
that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the
nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and
was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young
athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never
got to play in the game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the
practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with
a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent.
Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is
it all right if I miss practice today?"

The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of
the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter,
when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped
into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the
sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful
teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play
today." said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was
no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game.

But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the
coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in".

Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not
believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was
doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he
passed, looked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The
score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid
intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans
broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering
you never heard!

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the
locker room the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the
corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe
it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my
dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?' The young man swallowed
hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first
time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

Like the athlete's father, God is always there cheering for us. He's always
reminding us to go on. He's even offering us His hand for He knows what is
best and is willing to give us what we need and not simply what we want. God
has never missed a single game.

What a joy to know that life is meaningful if lived for the Highest. Live
for HIM for He's watching us in the game of life.

-- Author Unknown

Polar Bear


A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma,
am I a polar bear?"

"Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she
replies, sending him out to play.

Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"

"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play."

Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"

"Yes, son, 100% polar bear. I'm 100% polar bear, your father
is 100% polar bear, and all of your grandparents are 100%
polar bear," she responded proudly. "Now go out and play."

Several minutes later he returns again. "Momma, you are
absolutely sure that I am a polar bear? No mixture at all? I
wasn't adopted? I really am 100% polar bear?"

"Yes, son, of course," she replied. "Why do you keep
asking?"

"Because Momma ... I'm cold!"
Received from Josh Hellums.




Picture found at Art.com

Friday 8 August 2008

Lights in the Window



I love Thomas Kinkade's paintings. This one is called Ginger Bread Cottage.

The way he has painted it makes me curious to know what it would be like if I walked down the path, through the door and into the cottage. It just seems to radiate welcome, warmth and love.

I really like how in all of his paintings Thomas has something with lights. It may be light streaming from the windows (or just a gentle glow), it may be a street light, or the light from a lighthouse.

Thursday 7 August 2008

How To Plant Your Garden

First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses....

FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,

PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another

NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends

WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE.
THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

The Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles.
An angel sat before each of us, sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune.
I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held upto the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been.
My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp filled the air.
I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ.
Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!
God determines who walks into your life ... it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Book Buzz Tag - You're It

Let's try something fun, created by Becky Miller over at A Christian Worldview of Fiction! I was tagged by Jenny at AusJenny


Here's how it will work....Becky has provided a list of her five MUST Read novels and five Keep Your Eyes on These Novels, then tagged five bloggers who she is asked to post her list on their site. They may then add one book to each list but must also subtract one book. Finally they should tag five other bloggers, link here at A Christian Worldview of Fiction, and comment to this post so visitors here know to check out how they may have changed the list. (Deena says: "I don't tend to play fair, so I'm adding my OWN category *grin*...you can play along or delete it...up to you").
If you aren't tagged but want to play, copy the how to paragraph above, make your own list of MUST Reads and Keep Your Eyes on These, and tag away. It will be fun to see if we can generate some book wars … uh, I mean, discussions … good, healthy, respectful discussions! ;-)

NOTE: On my post, my selection is a different colour than the others, and a * means I have read the book and agree with it being on the list. I've also linked my books to Amazon so you can check them out!

MY FIVE MUST READS:
A Promise to Remember by Kathryn Cushman (Bethany House)
The Restorer by Sharon Hinck (NavPress)
Zora & Nicky by Claudia Mair Burney
The Falcon and the Sparrow by M.L. Tyndall (Barbour)
*Healing Promises by Amy Wallace (Multnomah Publishers)

MY FIVE NON-FICTION MUST READS:
Crazy Love by Francis Chan (David C. Cook)
Wilderness Skills for Women by Marian Jordan (B&H)
*Twentysomething: Surviving and Thriving in the Real World by Margaret Feinberg & Bebo Norman (Thomas Nelson)
For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A Rice
Once Blind the story of John Newton by Kay Strom (Authentic)

MY FIVE 'KEEP YOUR EYES ON THESE':
On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson (WaterBrook)
The Edge of Recall by Kristen Heitzmann (Bethany)
Searching For Spice by Megan DiMaria (Tyndale)
*Black Sea Affair by Don Brown (Zondervan)
Coming Unglued by Rebeca Seitz (B&H)

MY FIVE BOOKS TO LOOK FOR SOON:
Whirlwind by Cathy Marie Hake (Bethany)
Faking Grace by Tamera Leigh (Multnomah)
Home Another Way by Christa Parrish (Bethany)
A Passion Redeemed by Julie Lessman (Revell)

MY TAGGED BLOGGERS:
Amy at Heart Chocolate

Sadly I have no one else to tag because they have already been tagged.

Hopefully, they'll all have time to play along! Don't forget to leave me a comment to guide me to YOUR list, and visit Becky (the originator) to leave her a comment as well:-)

Wednesday 6 August 2008

The Wedding Dress

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear
mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the
first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as
Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on
her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my
arm around her.

"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in
time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."

"Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit
into that dress!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Monday 4 August 2008

TAG YOU ARE IT

If you opened it, you have to do it. Send it back to the person who sent it to you and the rest of your friends!

Two names you go by:
1. Beth
2. Bethy

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Pants
2. "Cranberry" top

Two longest car rides:
1. Port Augusta to Geelong in one day
2. Geraldton to Perth via the scenic route

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Cross Stitch
2. Holding cute babies

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. To know what I'd like to do instead of my current career
2. Husband (although a boyfriend would do for now)

Three animals you have or have had:
1. Becky the chook - her claim to fame was a double yolker
2. Smudge the cat - she was really the family cat, named after a smudge on a painting that Papa did, which he turned into a cat
3. There was a fish too, but I don't remember it's name

Two people who will answer this:
1. Jenny?
2. Anyone?

Three Things you ate today:
1. So far just my usual breakfast of porridge
2.
3.

Two people you last talked to on phone:
1. James
2. Can't remember

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Celebrating Amy's birthday
2. Working .... :(

Two favourite holidays:
1. QLD in 1992
2. School holidays as a child when we would go to Grandpa's farm

Two favourite beverages:
1. Tea
2. Apple cider

Four favourite fruit:
1. Bananas
2. Mango
3. Strawberries
4. Watermelon

Now, here's what you're supposed to do and please do not spoil the fun.

Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers.

Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.

OK, I know this was originally an email, but if you care to do it, please leave a comment, so that I can see your anwers.